Quick hack to move discomfort through the body
Nervous before a presentation? Not recovering from that cringe comment you just made in public? Here's a somatic process I have distilled into a 5-step method that I know will help you TREMENDOUSLY.
The inspiration to write this post started when I helped my friend calm the F down before giving a bridesmaids speech this past weekend. She went from having a racing heart, tripping over her words in a casual conversation with friends (she was not communicating normal sentences) to feeling not only relaxed and confident, but EXCITED to give her speech. Oh, and I should mention, we were able to get her there in under 5 minutes. Here’s how we did it:
The process is called S.H.I.F.T., an acronym I came up with during a very complicated somatic training where all I could think was, how are we supposed to remember this? There has to be a simpler way. And there is! I have used this process so many times and helps me move from nervous, anxious or deeply sad to a place of calm acceptance.
I used it when I was terrified of bumping into an ex at an event after a rough break-up, when I was about to pitch myself to a brand I thought was too good for me, and when I was grieving the death of my grandmother and couldn’t seem to shake it off.
For the purpose of this post, I will use my friend as an example of how this can work anywhere.
She came up to me mid-party and said, “Feel my heart… it is BEATING out of my chest. I REALLY need to get centered”. She wanted to show up for her friend and speak from the heart but her nerves were getting in the way. I grabbed her and right there in the center of the bar we did this:
Somatic Process “S.H.I.F.T.”
STOP — Ok, the only way to move through discomfort is to actually feel it and see what’s really going on there (sorry guys, the only way out is through). So we stop what we are doing and give this feeling the space it deserves. She did this on her own just by asking me for help and I am so proud of her for recognizing this in the first place! We stood there in the middle of the party and she took her first few deep breaths just to land.
HOLD — Hold awareness. It’s too easy (and we do this all day) to ignore an uncomfortable sensation in the body and try to push it away by reaching for the phone, a drink, or some food (no shame, we all do this). Here, we want to hold space for it because typically, these sensations are our subconscious wisdom knocking at the door, wanting attention. So identify where you’re feeling it in the body. My friend noticed the sensation in the sternum.
INVESTIGATE — Get curious about the sensation without attaching a label to it like “anxiety”. While that may be what’s going on, in this moment it’s better to observe it from an objective lens. Try not to attach a story to why you’re feeling it and just start naming sensations (ie. texture, color, weight, shape, density etc.). My friend cracked me up when I asked her, “what are you noticing in that spot in your chest?” and she answered, “it’s…tubular”. Perfect. It only has to make sense to you.
FEEL — Now we are taking it a little deeper. Here, you want to feel the sensations as much you can (contrary to what we usually want to do with uncomfortable feelings). I asked her more about it — colors? weight? sounds? She kept describing it and being with it until it started to change.
TRANSFORM — When you stick with it and “be with” this sensation, what do you notice about it? What’s it doing now? Sometimes you might notice it dissolving, morphing, disappearing or changing into something totally different. In her case, when I asked, “what’s happening now as you pay more attention to it?”, she said, “the tube is turning into a sausage shape, like a pink dancing sausage”. When I asked her, “what’s the wisdom of that?” she said (with an air of epiphany), “Oh my god. It’s not that serious. This is silly, this is fun, this is not a big deal!”.
She looked at me like an elephant stepped off her chest and in her very “her” way, waved her hand as if to say, “pshhh I got this!”. She exhaled, “dude… I feel completely fine”. No nerves, no anxiety, no fear. She realized she is a performer at heart (always has been) and that this is her opportunity to have fun, grab that mic and command that room. AND BOY DID SHE. It was one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard — we were all laughing, tearing up and so entertained.
When I tell you we did this in under 5 minutes, I mean it. It might have been 3 minutes total. I’m sharing this so you know — you can do it too.
This is an accessible, quick process that requires nothing but a few minutes, some loving attention and a little bravery, because God knows, going deep is daunting but ignoring it is worse. When we bring awareness to sensations like this, we unlock a wellspring of wisdom and emotional resiliency.
Try it out today and comment below how it goes.
If you have a question about life, emotions, spirituality or coaching, comment your question and I’ll answer for the next post of The Coaching Studio. Here to support you always.
